An Outsider on Twin Flames

Looking in from the outside:
A view of bonds, soul mates, twin flames from one who is not

Dear Reader, kindly note that this post is intended to discuss and use analogy to describe an array of interpersonal bonds and the spiritual bonds such as soul mates or twin flames. My perspective is of one who has been fortunate enough to have a dear friend who is currently walking this path, but also one who hasn’t had to walk it myself.
As I have stated above this is merely a description based upon conversations and the understanding I have carved for myself. I am no writer of absolute truth just a person with an opinion who would like to share it and provide some understanding to others if possible.

It is my hope that my write up will prove enjoyable and enlightening…

Before we throw ourselves into the thick of things, let us first establish a few things
Firstly what is a soul mate, what is a twin flame, how are they similar and how they are different, why do these exist, bringing a physical purpose to a spiritual concept, common misconceptions, the life of soul mates and flames.

What is a soul mate?
Ideally, in the modern world we merely “Google” everything and if you type this into Google it will describe it as ‘someone who is ideally suited as a close friend OR romantic partner’
First key point is the fact that soul mates aren’t necessarily romantically involved they serve as companions in different contexts and are beings that we feel very comfortable with. Now, I want to move into information that came out through discussion as additions to make this description or definition a tad more accurate. Please note this will touch on a few belief systems you may or may not accept. Other factors of a soul mate connection include

• Having crossed paths in a previous lifetime or previously but weren’t aware of the other.
• You meet at the right time: you may have to undergo certain experiences before you are ready to accept the connection.
• You are comfortable in each other’s presence or company even if in silence.
• You have a sense of the others thoughts or can perceive certain emotions without them being spoken.

The above traits have been taken from https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/18-signs-youve-found-your-soulmate.html (June Silny – 21/07/2019)
These are only pieces of the article I have chosen to stick to those I feel most accurate and recall from previous conversations.

As mentioned above, a soul mate doesn’t have to be a romantic partner. Hence a person may find their soul mate yet still marry another and still lead a happy fulfilled life. They may never marry or have a long term companion yet still live very happy comfortable lives. The concept of a soul mate doesn’t require much thought to have its purpose in the world explained. Having a person who is familiar, understanding, supportive, trustworthy who connects with you in a sincere manner beyond a physical sense is an immensely invaluable gift. The ability to calm us, admire us beyond our flaws and help us cope with or overcome them is a natural contributor to a simple happy life. What makes the concept of a soul mate truly remarkable to me is that it allows us to or rather teaches us to give freely of ourselves and unto others for their growth out of a sense of love, yes I said LOVE, whether we are with them intimately or not. The most signature or unique dynamic to spiritual bonds is that love is sans capacity or the plethora of shackling rules we seem to ‘think’ or are ‘told’ it must follow.
Soul mates merely love each other and support each other because of a deep spiritual connection which they are blessed with IF they embrace, respect and honor it.
Let me emphasize you can be blessed and fated to be or have a soul mate but you are still a person who will choose how you respond to this in your life.

What is a Twin Flame?
Again, if we take to the internet, mention is made of twin flames however; again, there is a sense of vague description to this concept. There are signs that one can look for but the experiences of several individuals speak to variances in these articles. As mentioned earlier my interaction with the concept of a twin flame is from one who is in this dynamic. So in defining twin flames I will, quote a web resource firstly and then expand into her description which I have found to be more apt. According to lonerwolf (https://lonerwolf.com/twin-flame/) a twin flame is “A Twin Flame, or Twin Soul, is a person who you feel connected to not just on a physical and emotional level, but also on a soulful or spiritual level” at first glance it does bear similarities to the soul mate dynamic but, key factors come into play to differentiate these concepts more closely

The most common analogy is that twin flames complement each other in a near ideal manner. They are often considered mirrors of one another who through their ‘journey’ lead to self-love and holistic self-development by nurturing and loving the other. They are deliberately intended to bring about growth. To quote my friend “we are more like one soul in two bodies”

Twin flames are very different in that not everyone has one, unlike soul mates who simply are a close personal and spiritual bond; twin flames seem exceptionally specialized in that they are meant to develop each individual. The twin flame journey or the process of development of the soul is highlighted as being meant to create union between individuals who essentially seem to be cut from the same cloth as it were, it creates a harmony between their energies which is meant to prove immense growth mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Twin flames are sadly, individuals whose journey is no easy path despite an immensely strong connection, development as highlighted by many seems to come through triggers. Interactions in which one finds what we would crudely state as flaws in the other which exist in a deeply personal level things people never speak about and often try to evade or hide from. Flames tend to zone in on these and make the other face it (it would be more accurate to say that they present the other with the opportunity to do so).

Twin flames are meant to resonate with each other and their unified growth and shared harmony is said to increase positive energy vibrations (yes this elevated positive energy is good for all people – I wouldn’t say it’s like the force).
While a fascinating spiritual dynamic, they are a very valuable exemplar for personal emotional growth and mental introspection. They lead us to question several aspects of belief in a more open minded manner and serve as an excellent teaching tool.
Such benefits come in the following manner:
Twin flames physically are classified as a divine masculine and divine feminine; however these are not gender specific they refer to roles played in a spiritual sense and the tendencies of the partners in the dynamic. In this way, we can see stereotypical gender roles as being archaic and largely outdated.

Critical personal reflection; flames tend to identify and intuitively know our innermost fears and the flaws we are most self – conscious of. The process of self-love and unconditional love and acceptance leads to tolerance, respect, patience, a greater sense of self-worth, we learn to face our demons as it were and being less and less weighed down by personal issues enables us to more easily communicate and assist others in overcoming their own battles.

Twin flames are without boundary: gender, race, age etc. the common divides to interpersonal relationships have no bearing on the soul hence our love and respect for people are naturally inclined to transcend divides.

Humility, patience, reflection: twin flames nature to trigger each other will undoubtedly lead to varying degrees of conflict but, these aren’t pointless rage fuelled spats. Instead issues such as ego, vanity, arrogance, personal character flaws and our own missteps are often made highly aware. It brings people into very close quarters with our very human nature and the parts of the self we often try to not correct. The realization that these will never go away present us a bitter truth: that we can keep ignoring this and never escape it or we can accept our flaws, and face them. Twin flames know rather well the words “I am wrong or I am sorry – words we often delay in saying”. People also don’t grow at the same rate (internal growth) so we need patience.

Love: this is by far the most important part of the flame journey. Some flames do become partners others merely complete their journey but are not meant to be together. This, although a painful reality, is a lesson with deep personal value to me. Loving a person means being able to provide that emotion with complete sincerity in the capacity they would have you in their lives or the capacity you know is best for you. Sometimes we are better to someone a friend than a lover or spouse. Twin flames share an exceptionally unique bond which can be naturally misinterpreted by anyone looking in but close as they may be their unconditional love would place them no more akin than siblings or close friends. They are who they are meant to be to the other, does this mean they cannot be more? No. something has always told me otherwise.